dreamsoup

tried to cook today. sky gave me some sun so i started with little smile. i cooked for few h then i realized i'm not even hungry. actually soup was supposed to be the best of soups i can make (tomato soup with "custom made" ravioly filled with cheese&ham), but for some reason something was missing. dont know what, just feeling was not right. it tasted ok, look was also as it supost to be, but sometimes you can smell the magic when "best" soup is served. neighbour liked the soup so i packed and gave it to her.

feels like i fail at anything i put my hands on this week or better last few weeks. somehow this lack of energy i have turns everything to worse. i miss days when i was jumping just because of some stupid little thing. normaly sun gets me in good mood, and even brings up the efficiency at work, but dont know whats with the sun today. actually is not sun, its me, and i know the reason, i just dont want to tell out loud. it would freak ppl. it freaks even me, when i'm laying on sofa and waiting time to pass by.

i want old dreams back. well dont care about old dreams, i just need something to dream about so i can then follow it. being dreamless sucks. anyway i have moments when i put smile on, but they end when the dance is over. so its there (in me) the joy for life i'm looking for. just need to bring it out more often, how? who knows...

todays quote: "I like traveling more then reaching final destination" (Ljubljana's King O'Tone 1st)