feel like homeless

in beggining i opened this blog to be "blog for *all* my non-sense", although i wrote only about tech stuff. i guess my life was that good (so good lie) that i didnt feel urge to write about other stuff.

after last week of more or less beeing home, beacuse of my bad knees, this week started good. i finnaly managed to get down the stairs almost without the pain (well at least i didnt have to use my hands). today it was sunny in ljubljana so perfect day to work around the center. i went from bar to bar meeting friends, working a bit (where there was internet in bars) and this was it. nothing special. after long time i bought my favorite magazine "Kralji ulice" ("Kings of the street"). you can only buy it on the streets of ljubljana. in addition of this blog i'll translate some of articles and add my thinking along the lines.

since i recently made some serious changes in my life, i'm at "ground 0" - starting point. i almost need to start my life again and rebuild it from scratch. but hey nobody said life will always go up, there are downs too. i never regret nothing in my life, but last year i regret how i lived my life. slowly moving away from myself and becoming someone just to be accaptable for someone. its funny how ppl are always on the side of victim. but for something to happen you need 2 sides, everybody in relationship are partialy responsible. so at the same time as i feel as a victim i'm also the bad guy i guess. just ratio is different.

if you like the day, then you must also accept the night. we dont have to like it, we just need to accept it, its part of the day. but normaly when we accept something we also like it (we are probably not even aware of this). thats where we normaly have problem. if we are ready to throw away all our judgements (for that we dont have to change our values) we would be able accept. accaptance is condition for more quality inner and outer live in place and time we are live in. life is just tos misterious, that we would always had to be the smart guy.

i'm not sure i'm ready to accept, but i try...