want it to rain

ljubljana today is ... well sad. it looks whole day that its going to drop huge storm on us but nothing, almost nothing happens. just few drops of rain. you could feel the sky trying to tell you something. well probably screem at you. its like walking with eyes coverd with tears but somehow you are not able to cry, only drop now and then drops down, but with your eyes you are screeming to everybody.

again i did my - now almost by habit - walk thru ljubljana center. i even left my self phone at home. nothing to distrub me. visit few cafes, read news papers, help with few cents some homeless friends and headed home.

strange is that when doing this, i'm not feeling anything. its a habit that i'm used to do. its like being paralized. probably with time i'll get "feeling for life" back, i must or else i'm robbed of things you leave for, "feelings". but story to write another time. some homeless old man responded me today: "thanks for money and kind words, i'll take the money, but you keep the kind words, i see you need them more then i do".

and in all this mess how to have be happy? how to have it all? this was keeping me busy all my walk today. and funny answer is very simple - as are all things in life. maybe to but it in some smart words "those who want to be happy, are already the happiest persons" and yes its that simple. i didnt say easy, just simple. lets call the sun over ljubljana for tomorrow.